There are feelings we cant choose not to feel, even if we try so hard to push them away that we get a headache they wont go away, they can disappear for a while but they are just resting, growing inside of you, waiting to catch you of guard... When you least expect it they jump on you from behind and then the struggle starts all over again, and every time it gets harder to deny them and push them back. Why just not let them show? it would be so much easier... but I guess that the fear of what would happen is so strong that we rather choose to fight them with every breathe we got, what if it all will blow up in our faces? and nothing will ever be the same again... you loose value when someone chooses not to love you, unplanted and unplaned like a weed. Du rather drown in your own groundwater then let people see the petal falling of... an you rahter choose headache instead of heartache...